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Thursday, March 23, 2006

I'm Gonna Go Deaf, But I'm Gonna See Def

So at this stage I have a couple of weeks in May/June that go something like this:

30 May: Whitesnake
9 June:   Bon Jovi
13 June: Tool
14 June: Live
18 June: Def Leppard

If I was to throw in the Download Festival as well, which is a small possibility - includes Metallica, Guns n’ Roses etc I would be constantly at concerts from the 9th to the 14th inclusive.  I’m gonna be deaf (Def) for days, but what a couple of weeks it’s gonna be!!

Wham Bam, Oh Amsterdam

So Scotty “too hottie” and I just booked ourselves an Easter trip to Amsterdam (stones you like nothing else can) click the link for details: http://www.andersontours.co.uk/destination.cfm?destinationid=13&alltours=yes

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Really Alex!! How Stupid Do You Think I Am??

So I signed up to Myspace the other day and this is the first email I received.  Ha ha it made me smile.  


FROM THE DESK OF:ALEX BAKRI.
CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATES
NO F1553 OJO ALABA INTERNATIONAL MRT
LAGOS NIGERIA



Attention Asterix,

I sincerely apologize for intruding into your privacy especially by contacting you through this means for a business transaction of this magnitude, but due to
its seriousness and urgency it therefore became necesary for me to seek your assistance.

I am Barr. Alex Bakri the personal lawyer to Late Mr. Mark Bear, a foreigner, who worked with an Oil Servicing Company in the oil rich Niger Delta Area of Bayelsa State. I am contacting you concerning my late client and an investment he made. I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contacted you independently and no one should be informed of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.

This is a genuine transaction and is 100% risk free. All I'm demanding from you is your honest co-operation to enable us achieve our goal, and not a perfidious person. On the 6th of May, 2002 it was reported to us that my Client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a Local Plane Crash at Kano State,enroute Abuja (The Capital City) all occupants in the Plane lost their lives,unfortunately on this same flight were other dignitaries like the Sports Minister and a host of others

Meanwhile, until his death, my late client had a Fixed Deposit Account of USD $15 Million deposited in a Secrity Company ( STANDARD UNIC SECURITY COMPANY) here. Recently, I received an ultimatum from the Security Company asking me to provide my late client's relative so that the money would be given to them. But unfortunately it was discovered that my late client did notdeclare any identifiable family member in all the official documents he tendered to the Security Company while opening the account.

Therefore, this development leaves me as the only person with the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the deposit my late client
made and who is entitled to be the Bona Fide Beneficiary/Next of Kin or relative because he died intestate.Therefore, if I fail to locate any of his relatives or his next of kin (and have this money transfered to them) the Security Company will at the expiration of the 6 weeks ultimatum given to me confiscate the account.

According to the ultimatum issued to me by the Security Company, if I fail to present to them my late client's relative, with a legitimate statement of claim for the money before the given time they will confiscate the account and the money declared 'UNCLAIMED BALANCE'. This will result in the money being taken over by the Security Company. This will not happen if I have my way.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives of my late client all these while, my proposal, therefore, is to present you as the next of kin/relative of my client due to the fact that you are a foreigner and can easily pass as a possible relative of my client. I know you will be wondering how possible this could be but I assure you that this is simple.

I therefore seek your consent to present you as the Next Of Kin to my client so that the money he deposited with the Security Company would be paid to you and
there after you and I will share the money 30% for you and I will be taking 60% while 10 percent shall be for any Mecillious espensis regards to this transaction. I assure you that the deposit would be released to you within a few days because I have all the relevant information that would facilitate that will be required on Documentation.

First, I will like you to provide immediately the following information:

Your full names.
Contact address.
Telephone/Fax Numbers.
International Passport or Drivers Liecence
Date of Birth

With these information I will prepare the necessary documents and affidavit that will put you in place as the next of kin. After we have successfully satisfied the requirements of the bank the money totalling USD 15 Million would be paid into your account for you to take 30% and I will be taking 60% . All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this through.


There is no risk at all because everything would be done legally and my position as a qualified attorney will facilitate everything . Secondly, I will give you all the necessary documents that would serve as evidence proving that you are the Next of Kin/ Relative of my late client. These documents will legally confer on you the status to act as the Beneficiary of the Estate of my late client.

What I related to you might smack of unethical practice but I want you to understand that this is a once in life time opportunity capable of turning around our situation. The truth is that this money would not be taken by the government but by some greedy Security Company Officails and I would not fold my arms and watch this happen hence my decision to contact you.



Thank you as I await your positive response.

Barr Alex Bakri